I Got Killed by this Dude...It Looked Cool Though

This fella stuck up on me, and then proceeded to kill me, then something cool happened. Check it out.

Here's me entering the room.

There's my stalker, droppin' down from above in the background.

The chase...short as it was...

And he takes me down. Now, notice the difference in the placement of my body from this shot to the next, it kinda...well, it totally shifts positions into that lift...but whatever, that's what made the magic happen...

Going up!

As I...er, rather my dead body arrives at the top of the lift, notice the grenade. That little trail of smoke on the bottom of the screen leads up to it.

Body is propelled by the blast!

Through the air...

And thud. Check out the Chief's neck crackin' on the floor.

Ouch. Sucks to be me.

Man, I should stop losing so I can post something other than me getting killed.

I got Incinerated..but I also nailed this dude with the Spartan Laser

Here's me getting burned to death in a recent match...which I lost. September 16 was not a good day for Halo, apparently.

That's me on the left...


This picture is, in a nutshell, how I felt about the matches I played today.

But it wasn't all bad. I did get these cool shots of me killing this dude with the Spartan Laser.

A Great Dad gets blasted in this one.

And from another angle...


Maybe I'll win one tomorrow....

Slayer on Guardian: So I lost, what's it to you!?

So I might have lost this one, but it was a particularly fun match and I got some good highlight shots from it. Here's a little glimpse at the action.

The mighty blow of the Hammer crashes down upon the poor and unsuspecting richiet888:

Here's a sequence of me landing a grenade next to Downykiller96 just in time for him to go...how can I put this...Boom!

Sticky in-hand...


Downy walks towards his death as he shoots away my shields:


And boom.


The hammer is truly no joke...

Master Chief is so metal.

But in the end, the victory went to Jimbo Browntown and this faceoff was never resolved. I like to think I would have killed him, then 2 other people, and won the match....

A Particularly Mean (and Honest) Post

So, I was wandering around the web for my job and I happened upon This Website, which features some of the ugliest folks I've seen in quite a while. To add insult to injury (injury via beating with ugly-stick), they're all playing this game that makes Risk look like wake-boarding or something comparable. Lemme walk you through the page...first, you see the 2005 "Champion" (if such a term can be used for whatever it is they're doing), and he's a looker. The putty-esque quality of his face is just stunning. As you continue to scroll down you'll come across what looks like a police lineup of people caught being fugly in a fugly free zone. My personal favorites are the first and last, both of whom are just spectacularly unappealing. And then, if you haven't put a pencil into your eyes yet, you can look just below the horizontal line of sub-human filth and disgust to see a fellow who looks so much like the archetype of a sex offender that he should essentially be used as the basis for any police sketches having to do with that matter. But wait, just when you thought it was over you get a picture of a group of these folks actually engaged in their loserdom. While this appears to be the least disgusting photo, it truly is the most disturbing. Wait, I take that back, the most disturbing is the sex offender.

Well, that officially qualifies as the meanest and most honest post I've ever constructed. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Here's the URL for any of your friends that you want to scare or disgust: http://www.boardgamers.org/yearbook05/ttrpge.htm

The Most Destructive Weapon in Video Game History

Featured in This Link is the most powerful weapon in FPS history. Those who are dual fans of Rick Astley and Doom are in for a special treat.


URL: http://www.filecabi.net/video/81629448875.html

Wonder if they'll port that to other games...

Soul Calibur 4 Cheated Me and Will Suffer for its Audacity...But is Also a Great Game

So, I got Soul Calibur 4 and I was promised that both Yoda AND Darth Vader would be made available as playable characters. What I was not told is that Yoda is available on the 360 and Darth Vader is available on the PS3. That's totally weak, man. However, the upside (I guess...) is that they are supposed to be available as downloadable characters in the upcoming season. While that's cool and everything, I get this distinct feeling that Microsoft will want to charge me money...or no, I'm sorry, not money, "Microsoft Points", to acquire Lord Vader. So, I then begin to ask myself: how much would I pay for Darth Vader? And the answer is that I would probably pay whatever they wanted to charge, in all seriousness. In turn, that makes me think that others will do the same and that Microsoft can truly charge whatever the funk they want. I don't know if Sony will be charging for Yoda but they don't seem to do that kinda junk...because they're nice or something. Who knows, maybe this time they will...

But! It's not all bad...the game itself is totally the sheeeiiiiit. Yoda is tight to play as and you can change the language settings and listen to his wisdom in a variety of languages (I chose Japanese and all I can catch is "force-ah" and "Dark Side-uh" and things of that nature). Aside from Yoda being sweet, the character creation is pretty gosh-dern fantastic. The game allows you to change everything about your character including obvious choices like fighting style, headgear, weapons and body armor, but also the color of each section of each piece of armor, the shape of the face, the build of the body, character voice, and a bunch of other aspects. I spent a good hour today just messing around with the customization of my character and I found that spending some time finding items that look cool and also have excellent traits (offense, defense, etc.) can make playing against the computer a lot easier and a lot more fun.

SC4 also includes a ton of game modes including "The Tower of Souls" which, in true Soul Calibur fashion, is a collection of fights in which the characters are infused with special traits, forcing you to employ different methods to killing them. However, I find that repetitive attacks and constant throwing of the opponent works better than anything fancy. NPCs are dumb.

All in all, SC4 is fantabulous, and once I get Darth Vader my life will probably be like, at least half complete.

Looks Like This Guy Got Stabbed in Mid-Air But Really He Didn't...It Just Looks Like That

Doesn't this guy look like he got stabbed in mid-air? Well, he actually didn't, it just looks like he did.

I Got This Other Totally Sweet Triple Kill Too This One Time

Yeah, there was this other time that I killed these dudes bad by throwing grenades at them.
Here's me tossing the first little ball of fiery joy towards a group of unsuspecting victims. Oh yeah, and check out my totally awesome pink and baby blue outfit...


Skip ahead a few moments and that's what happens! Triple Kill, Killing Spree and I gained the lead! Hooray!


Here's that explosion from another angle....

Ouch.

And then...moments later...!

A solid crack on this guy's skull from the shotgun was sufficient to end this match.

My Totally Sweet Triple Kill

Here, check it out, I got this totally sweet triple kill.

Post-killing-first guy I approach my second target.....


Two down...as the "Double Kill" tells ya, and here's target 3...


And there's target 3 dead and flopping into the lift all limp and stuff...like, "Oh no, I got killed, I'm so sad, my life is worthless, I'm gonna go get my mom to make me some Taquitos and smother them with chocolate syrup to ease my pain"...something like that...gross.

Take that "MaffiOus".......fatty.....

Hm, those pictures were kinda lame. But I sware it was totally fun killing those guys.

I'm Back! But...not better than ever...pretty much the same....

Hey...how ya doin...before you get angry let me just say that I realize I haven't posted in a while...and I'm sorry, I truly am. I am begging for your forgiveness, on my hands and knees, also, I'll buy you things like Ice Cream and the occasional ticket to the movie-picture shows that you like so much...so, won't you take me back? I have lots of delicious new Halo 3 screenshots to show you too, my sweet cantaloupe. What? I don't know why I chose cantaloupe...no, I didn't mean it to be offensive I just-....alright, I'm sorry. But for serial, I'm back so you may as well just enjoy the pictures....jeez.....


And on that note....a celebratory stance!!


At least Master Chief is happy that I'm back.....

Newest Assy, Why I Haven't Posted Recently and COD4

Well, first-off here's the link to the newest Assy (which I haven't watched because GOD took away my free cable...God Damnit!): Newest Assy!

Secondly, it turns out that sending pics to my email account from my phone costs...well, a shitload of money if you do it a lot...which I was. This put a serious damper on my posting because I feel like posts need picturas!

I could resolve this by just posting more Halo 3 pics of my playing but I've recently picked up a copy of Call of Duty 4 and I must say that the online play is faaaaantastic! COD4 is much more of a fast paced environment than that of Halo. Don't get me wrong, I still loves the Halo, just nice to experience a change in pace. Plus, I feel like people aren't chanting homophobic and racist statements as much on COD4 which is refreshing. ALSO, COD4 allows you to unlock weapons and addons for your weapons as you play as well as perks to your actual character which adds a level of customization that Halo doesn't offer (probably because it wouldn't work quite as smoothly due to Halo's completely different style of gameplay). So until I get some sort of badass assault rifle Halo's gonna gather some dust on my shelf...oh, and I got a black controller so now I'm ELITE bitches.

Soon to be added to my Things that I Want list: Soul Calibur 4

Soon to be taken away from my Things that I Want list: COD4 and Black Controller (not Wii...sigh).....

Newest Assy!

So, the latest episode of Assy is available online for viewing. I know I'm a few days late in posting this but the episode wasn't that great so wha'eva, I do wha' ah want! Anyhow, it's still got Assy and some funny parts, so enjoy!

Newest Assy! View here, it's not that great of an episode though.......

Just When You Thought it was Safe to Let Your Kids Out Again....

BAM! Lolo's back with some full frontal action! And you thought you knew where all the white was....

Jasper Hid (Asleep) on Top of Some Cabinets

Jasper apparently had a bit too much action for one evening and decided that it was best to steer away from the guests for his nap. Choosing an adequate location for said nap was more difficult though...however, after a long and arduous thought process, he decided upon the top of some cabinets, a fine decision indeed.


As with most kitties, Jasper's got a pretty rough life (pictured below).

Subway Waterfalls and Roach Rain

So I was heading home during some crazy rain yesterday and I walked into the station on 34th street to see...



Which was pretty crazy in my opinion. Water was just crashing down from street level onto this train, which was just sitting there waiting it out. What I thought was more hilarious than that was that the doors eventually opened while the water continued to pour down in an unrelenting torrent.


People seemed very unaffected by this other than the small crowd (myself included) who were taking pictures and videos. Hmm...videos, you say?



This segues into the next part of my story which happened after I stepped onto the train, one car down from the waterfall. I stood and peeked out at the continuing waterfall and noticed that the doors were lookin' to close, at which point I stepped into the car. I stood for about 2 seconds before feeling a little something on my shoulder, at which point I reached in that direction to find a dear little friend of mine, Mr. Giant Motherfucking Roach, taking a little stroll around Brendan's-Neck-Lane. In an unprecedented event I did not freak out and grabbed the little sucker, threw him to the ground and then....well...if you notice that little brownish area on the picture below, that'd be him.



Sorry for the blurriness but people look at you kinda funny when you're getting real up-close and personal with a dead roach on a train.

Annnnnd.....FIN

My Formal Apology to Shaun

This is my formal apology to Shaunessey "Biscuit" Bibbs. I have been ignorant and crass and I do not want this to come between us. Your motor-boat-purring has been a constant inspiration in my life and my misspelling of your name was a grosse misrepresentation of your character. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me, for I truly am sorry.

Also, if you forgive me I won't tell Keetens that you were drinkin' from the toilet.

Halopedia and Tie-Fighter Stage

So I was looking up places where I could find general Halo news and things of that nature when I stumbled upon this: Halopedia! Which is, as the name suggests, is the Wikipedia of the Halo universe! So, for any sort of Halo informational needs, this seems to be a pretty decent place to go. In my time playing Halo I received a ton of one kind of medal entitled "Steaktacular" and I could not, for the life of me, figure out what the hell it was. The medal doesn't show up in the actual game stats, only on Bungie.net and the description is "Luke owes you a steak dinner". I looked it up on Halopedia, and this is what I found...Steaktacular.

I thought that was pretty hilarious, but maybe that's just my uber-nerdiness showing its ugly face...what am I saying!? Showing its BEAUTIFUL face! Ha!


On another note, here's something cool that ends up not being so cool. That picture up above is a level that someone designed to look like a Tie-Fighter which I think is pretty sick. My only quarrel with this is that unless you have a network of online Halo friends (which I don't because I prefer real people) you can't really play these stages. Bungie doesn't set up playlists for special-player-designed stages like this and you don't have the option of hosting a game yourself like you would on say, Starcraft or Warcraft. So, while that is an awesome lookin' stage, I probably won't even bother downloading it, seeing as I won't be able to play it unless I organize a little dumb-shit online Halo pow-wow. Perhaps that's too harsh...nah, I don't think so.

Newest Assy Online!

Here's the link to the newest episode of Assy McGee, which features a very nude Assy. It's surprising how much the lack of his tall socks and gun holster changes his appearance. Another level of depth is added to Assy each episode.

Newest Assy! (6/8/08)

Sean Wanted Some Bacon this One Time...Then Jasper Did Too

Here, check it out, Sean totally wanted bacon this one time.

Looks like Jasper wanted a piece of that action also...


I don't have a third picture, sorry. But suffice it to say, I ate the bacon.

Just Some Nice Pics from My Folks' Window

Here's a collection of nice pictures taken from my parents' balcony. Most are just the view, a couple are the construction that embodies the loss of that view.

Here's Some Pics of my Friend's Kitties and His Puppy

First up we have Carlos who is very much a kitten and likes to demonstrate it with...you know, kitten things...playing and stuff...but here he's just sitting. Kittens do that also.


Carlos yaaawnin.


Here's Josie, who's a little football of a kitty.


And finally, Pudding the puppy!


That was fun, wasn't it? I promise I won't post anymore animal pictures for at least a day or so......