Artsy Pictures

Here's some artsy pics, and one of "Old-man Beatz". Enjoy them, lavish in their beauty.


Lolo likes art...especially when the sun is hitting it.


Old-Man Beatz. That's my curmudgeon face. I think that's the right word...


Crowded artsy picture.


Martini on the wall.


Closer look at Martini on the wall.


And I started Fallout 3 again, still one of the greatest games I've ever played. I'm only a few hours in and I've already done a wide variety of things completely different from the last time I played. I heard rumor that the level cap will be raised to 30 soon, and I have yet to play Operation Anchorage, I'll hit it up after I beat the game a second time around. I can't help but be good though...I always wanna try to be evil and steal and shit, but I just can't do it. Damn this conscience!

Stupid Xbox Live Gamertags

I've been compiling a list of stupid Xbox Live Gamertags while playing online. So here's the first entry in what will hopefully be another ongoing segment "Xbox Live Idiocy Revealed"

Here are the first 14 names I've come across that are totally dumb (in no particular order). To those with Xbox Live accounts, avoid these people as they are very stupid and do not deserve to interact with other people over any medium.

1. ThickatTheBasE
2. Z5 PuneJuice 5Z
3. ZOMBI the SKLFKR
4. Slap Happy27
5. joe mama pooooo
6. Dr PooBreath - Side note here, "Poo" is a fan-favorite amongst idiots.
7. SpreadThatAss
8. PooBreeze
9. skullfxxker469
10. butthole4bandit
11. Punknsk8rules - this one isn't offensive in the same way as the others, I just hate names like this..."sk8"...somehow that just makes me so angry...
12. Hickevilbstrd
13. cooterfaceman
14. HaLfR3Tard3d

Keep in mind that these are their names for EVERY game they play using their Xbox Live accounts. No dignity...I'm not saying every name has to be a literary reference or some such artsy thing, but seriously, stop putting "poo" and "skullfucker" in there.
...Jesus.

The Chief is Dead, Episode 2 and My Newest Medals

Here's episode 2 of "The Chief is Dead", starring the Master Chief...only, you know...dead.


Sleep it off. Notice how his left hand could easily have a stiff drink in it.


He must have fallen from pretty high up to go right through the metal flooring.


I don't have a good caption for this one, it's just an awkward position.


Dead Chief does push-ups, cheater-push-ups though.


Dead Chief humps the....wall? Wait a second...

And my medals! These are only achieved in Ranked matches, if I listed social matches I'd have 20 kills in a row! Ah well, here ya go:

Shotgun Spree: Killed 5 opponents in a row with the shotgun.

Skyjacker: Hijacked a flying vehicle from an opponent. This one was particularly satisfying.

Incineration: Killed an opponent with the flamethrower. Also pretty satisfying.

New BMWBeatz Track Available for Listenin' on Myspace!

Check out my Myspace Page and listen to the brand new hit, "Dead Souls"!

(Gogol fans will be disappointed, it has nothing to do with the book...)

BMWBeatz is back with tasteful and sexy music producing for the next 2 weeks due to certain "trial version" time-restrictions. Me and my brand-new-used Edirol MIDI controller are working diligently together (much to my slow computers dismay) to produce as much as possible while we can still use the deliciousness of Ableton Live 7 for free.

Keep your eyes and ears peeled for more tracks in that time!
Also, any feedback on the blog or even in person, is appreciated!

Blast From the Perverted and Racist Past

I had almost forgotten about Custer's Revenge!
Take a look and enjoy one of the finest pieces in gaming history. I personally like the sound effects when you...ahem..."win" each round.

Also, keep in mind how much time whoever this is put into mastering dodging arrows.

Here's the Wiki for those of you that need more after that indescribably fantastic video.

Some Screenshots and Another Achievement

I got another achievement in Halo 3! While it's kind of a boring one (only worth 5G too), I still felt compelled to post about it. It's called Too Close to the Sun and happened when I blasted this guy in a Banshee with a Spartan Laser.

Continuing on the theme of destroying Banshees, here's some shots of me bashing this guy in his Banshee with my Gravity Hammer.


The approach...


Trying to blast me.


So, we learned that one should not fly near the Chief when he's holding a hammer.

And just for kicks, here's a shot of me and an ally getting deeeestroyed from all sides.

Guess I wandered into a bad neighborhood.

Another Achievement and The Chief is Dead, Episode 1

I was playing this weekend's "Double EXP Weekend" today on Halo 3, which is "Team Melee", consisting of only melee weapons (Hammers and Swords), when I realized that the Chief dies in some pretty hilarious positions(I also unlocked a new Achievement, "Came...From..Behind").

I decided it was up to me to document some of these in the first of a (maybe) ongoing segment "The Chief is Dead":


Chief is ashamed of being dead and hides his head in his hands.


Chief flies upwards, well beyond the limits of the level Pit Stop.


I used to sleep like this (butt upturned) when I was about 2 years old.


Chief has had too much to drink and needs to "clean house" over the edge of this oil rig.


Homeless chief can fall asleep in pretty much any position.


Conjoined-dead-Chief-myslexia.

More to come!
(hopefully)

New Halo Achievement!

I sat down with Halo today for the first time in a while and I unlocked a brand new achievement: Steppin' Razor! It was during a match of Swords on Guardian, I got 2 Triple Kills, 2 Sword Sprees, a +6 Kill/Death spread (alright, not amazing) and just generally did a lot of stabbing and slashing of my opponents.


Those 2 in the background were my kills, this guy is number 3. If you look closely you'll notice a grenade that he stuck onto my face...

There's me about to explode...


And...well, that kinda speaks for itself, no?


This was me approaching my final victim.


And victory!

A tale of betrayal and heartbreak indeed. Halo continues to be king, Resistance and Warhawk can suck on Master Chiefs sweaty, robotic (I think?) nuts.

Diablo III

Who knew that watching play-by-play demos of upcoming titles could be so much fun? I've never felt so nerdy in my life, but somehow watching Blizzard employees play through some features of their new games is just plain entertaining.
Diablo III looks to be faaaantastic. Considering the amount of my life that was consumed by Diablo II, I'm excited to let even more of my precious(?) time go with number 3.

Diablo III Gameplay 1

Diablo III Gameplay 2

Now there's 2 reasons to get a new computer, Diablo III and Starcraft 2. Thanks Blizzard...now all I need is some money.

Dead Space = Totally the Bomb, Also Good Demos and Apologies to The Last Remnant

The title of this post is essentially most of what I have to say. Dead Space is fantastic, I can't believe it's just been sitting in my collection, untouched, since December. The game plays a lot like Resident Evil 4, placing the camera behind you, but includes a few fun details (aside from the setting and plot etc) that sets it apart from its fellow survival horror title, albeit not the most recent. The powers include telekinesis, allowing your to move around large objects as well as using dead bodies and other miscellaneous items as weapons. Your character, Isaac, also has a "stasis" ability which slows down objects and enemies for a short period of time. Both of these abilities spice up the gameplay so that you're not just constantly walking through dimly lit corridors waiting for monsters to pop out at you...although that does happen, and it's totally awesome. Alongside all your wonderful abilities, your arsenal is filled with delicious energy weapons as well as a remote saw, a flamethrower, and a few that I haven't delved into yet. Each weapon and your suit is upgradeable, so you're constantly growing stronger in order to face new opponents. Dead Space also features areas of zero-gravity where you can jump around in full 360 degrees as well as deep space vacuums which put you on a limited air supply.

The game features awesome lighting effects, freaky-ass monsters, and a pretty hackneyed plot about alien-human hybrids that came from some planet, or were genetically engineered by humans, kinda like Alien Resurrection, a true masterpiece of cinema.

Honestly though, who cares when YOU get to rend them limb from limb?

Alongside Dead Space I recently downloaded the Resident Evil 5 demo AND the Halo Wars demo, both of which are pretttty awesome. However, I think Microsoft should allow for keyboards to be attached to the 360 in order to make Halo Wars better...worlds better.

As for the Last Remnant, I've put it on hold for a while due to an almost complete loss of interest. The plot seemed interesting enough but the choppiness on the battles, even after loading the game onto the hard-drive, is almost too much to take. I'll beat it later, sorry Square-Enix, you had better work out the kinks for Final Fantasy XIII or you're gonna be on the road to losing your fan-base.....

Musings On the Superbowl

Indeed.

Playmobil Security Checkpoint

This is pretty hilarious.
Aside from the inital fact that it is a security checkpoint toy that costs a whopping 62 bucks which is in and of itself funny, the customer reviews are friggin' heeelarious. They feature such gems as "Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like." and "I applaud Playmobile for attempting to provide us with the tools we need to teach our children to unquestioningly obey the commands of the State Security Apparatus". The first really long one is probably my fav. I also find it fun that with all the satire going on in the reviews there's still the "Was this review helpful to you? Yes/No" links, ha!